Among Dan Brown's many accomplishments is bringing the cilice belt to popular attention. Silas, Brown's tonsured hit man in "The Da Vinci Code", wears one and also flagellates himself with The Discipline, a knotted rope. The image of this tall, albino monk performing 'corporal mortification' is a shocking one that stays with the reader.
Curiously, it was the image that sprang to mind yesterday when I was talking with a woman about the issues she is facing right now. Yvette (not her real name) is not, fortunately, at risk physically, but the situation in which she lives is spiralling out of control.
Her emotional world is becoming increasingly tortured and intolerable. And because she objects to various behaviours that she senses to be fundamentally wrong, she is being blamed. She is constantly being told that her attitude, rather than the behaviours, are the source of the problem.
Yvette is desperate to manage a dysfunctional situation and remain in control of her life. Her dilemma is this: if the behaviours are unacceptable then she is vindicated? but powerless. Because they are not going to change. If her attitude is to blame, then she is, clearly, losing her grip on the situation but, theoretically at least, she has the power to improve things.
Maybe this
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